Posted on December 11, 2009 - by Jennifer

Meditation Challenge: Day 5

December 10, 2009: ¬†I sat down for meditation in the evening around 8pm. ¬†I decided it would make some sense to continue with the same technique as the previous 4 days, maybe even using the ham sa/so ham approach through to Sunday so that I could get a full week’s observation of the impact of a single technique before switching to a second technique for week two. ¬†It seemed like a vaguely “scientific” approach. ¬†So, I proceeded. ¬†And, in the spirt of accurate reporting, I have to admit I struggled to meditate last night. ¬†Physically, I never quite settled in. ¬†My foot fell asleep about 10 minutes in and I felt a slight ache in my back about 20 minutes in. ¬†Mentally, I was a little better off. ¬†I concentrated on each chakra diligently and dutifully noted the sensation of energy but I didn’t feel entirely present. ¬†It felt more like an intellectual exercise or discipline, as if I were going through the motions. ¬†Brief but distracting thoughts appeared like little thought bubbles- things like, “Will the yogurt/cilantro dip be okay without fresh lime?” ¬†At about 25 minutes, I decided to end the meditation. ¬†And, actually, as I came out of the meditation, I felt strongly compelled to sit still with my eyes open. ¬†At this point, my body did relax and my mind did sort of empty. ¬†Perhaps it was the release from the discipline of repeating a mantra and trying to focus? ¬†Now that I was not trying to focus, I suddenly felt quite willing to remain seated and to observe. ¬†What I noticed was a weight or heaviness pressing down on two specific points – the crown of my head and my heart. ¬†It was a very tangible sensation and I just sat with it, eyes open, for probably 3-5 minutes. ¬†It was not an unpleasant sensation, like being held or suffocated. ¬†It was just a weight.